Happy Clappy Doesn’t Mean Happy Ever After…..Conflict & Marriage (via Marriage Gems)
Great overview on study showing that you might regret ‘holding your breath’ to keep the piece in the early years of a relationship. Conflict is natural and an important way of learning how the two of you tango. The crucial thing is neither to Stonewall (go cold) nor or argue to the death … you lose on both counts. So long as there’s no serious underlying issues of abuse or trust, there’s much to be said for making the most of conflict and using it to build stronger relationships in the early years….
via Marriage Gems
The article also quotes the amazing work of John Gottman, PhD on the Magic 5 of relationships; this makes such a huge difference, more so than whether you argue or not.
As with all things, conflict can be a great source of learning on an individual and partnership level. If you’re able to discuss things from a secure place by knowing each others character strengths you’re able to move much more quickly onto how to deal with things rather than why they happened. Strength based Psychology hasn’t been around too long and for some relationships too late. But I’m glad there’s a lot more research going into how we can be happier together rather than the regret of what could have been.