Happy Clappy Doesn’t Mean Happy Ever After…..Conflict & Marriage (via Marriage Gems)


Low Conflict Does Not Equate with Great Long-Term Marriage

Great overview on study showing that you might regret ‘holding your breath’ to keep the piece in the early years of a relationship. Conflict is natural and an important way of learning how the two of you tango. The crucial thing is neither to Stonewall (go cold) nor or argue to the death … you lose on both counts. So long as there’s no serious underlying issues of abuse or trust, there’s much to be said for making the most of conflict and using it to build stronger relationships in the early years….

Low Conflict Does Not Equate with Great Long-Term Marriage A three-year study completed at the University of Texas at Austin evaluated 156 newly married couples regarding their conflict levels and marital happiness. They were followed for three years to determine whether low-conflict marriages were the happiest. The answer: yes in the short-term and no in the long-term. At the beginning of the study, when the couples were still newlyweds, they did indeed equate a happy marriage with low levels of conflic … Read More

via Marriage Gems

The article also quotes the amazing work of John Gottman, PhD on the Magic 5 of relationships; this makes such a huge difference, more so than whether you argue or not.

As with all things, conflict can be a great source of learning on an individual and partnership level. If you’re able to discuss things from a secure place by knowing each others character strengths you’re able to move much more quickly onto how to deal with things rather than why they happened. Strength based Psychology hasn’t been around too long and for some relationships too late. But I’m glad there’s a lot more research going into how we can be happier together rather than the regret of what could have been.


One Response to “Happy Clappy Doesn’t Mean Happy Ever After…..Conflict & Marriage (via Marriage Gems)”
  1. Hallelujah! The span filter finally works!… Dear spammer, my readers and I aren’t interested in diatribe. Go live your life. Like I said I’m glad you’re “very happy”. Your comments have been deleted and you’ve been blocked.

    For everyone else, please excuse the annoying spammer, I’m so glad my world is full of beautiful fabulous people. Thank you for reading my posts, I’m amazed by over 1000 hits a month in such a short time! I’m very grateful, enjoy the holidays and I look forward to more comments and re-tweets next year! X

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